I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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