what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
