opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
sex in a hospital.. check
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
