2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
