Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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