you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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