I wish I could punch you in the face.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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