thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
