should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize