sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
