I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
