I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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