I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She tied me up with her honor cords...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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