I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm just crazy horny about you
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
