Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
