That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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