So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
