To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
