So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
