Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
