He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
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