Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
