ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
