im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
