Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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