He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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