Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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