I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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