There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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