He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
