He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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