The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
