Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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