Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
