it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
