At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize