Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Houston, we have a blender
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
