his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
