Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
