Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
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Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
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just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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