What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
