he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
