to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
