I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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