ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
