I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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