Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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