Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
