I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize