Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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