he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
