I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
