My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
