You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
