well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
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I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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