Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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